Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-BAAA-ba. No. Not now. It’s not my time. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-BAAA-ba. Snooze button, that’ll show it, I’m going to snooze button the fuck out of it. Six minutes of heaven. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-BAAA-ba.
If I look at my clock long enough, the clock looks into me. It does not however change what it says. I can reach out to change what it says and thereby give myself an extra hour in bed. This tends not to have the desired effect unfortunately, as the changing of my clock does little to affect other more important clocks. Like for example those nuclear clocks in the States, Big Ben and most pertinently the clock on my boss’s desk. I think we can all agree that this an area to which chronographers should direct their immediate attention.
One approach that may yet yield dividends is to speed myself up thereby changing my frame of reference relative to the world at large, as I increase my personal velocity time will move more slowly for everyone else. Most pertinently for my boss. At a high enough velocity I might just be able to grab myself an extra hour in bed. One drawback it that it is difficult to see a way of attaining this velocity without getting out of bed and given that staying in bed is the whole point it seems that the invention of a rocket powered bed capable of attaining relativistic speed is a must. Physicists take note.